-Where to Start-

Where to start - Where to end

The chapter has closed

The book has just begun

We conquer the hill

To reach the mountain

Our hearts find happiness

But never satisfaction

We always want more

Yearn for what we do not have

But how rarely we see

What a promise has been said

He'll supply all of our needs

No more - No less

So why, with this promise

Can we not see beyond the mess

Where to start - Our beginning 

Given life and breath

Where to end - The story untold

Easily we assume finished at death

We fail to remember the mountain

We allow the chapter to be the book

This life is not the end

But merely the stepping stone to a life with no end

If you seek satisfaction - Seek it in Christ

If you yearn for what you don't have - Yearn for what's eternally in store

Let not the life be the end 

Our momentary dreams and desire

Let nothing of this world be our hearts yearning

For our God is an all-consuming fire

Hebrews 12:28-29, "Therefore, since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe; for our God is a consuming fire."

Echoes

They are all around me
In various shapes and forms
Faces. Bodies. Souls.
Each echoing a cry
Some echo a cry of laughter
Other a sorrow rooted too deep for words
Some echo their mother or father
Still others a brother or sister
Each face has its own unique echo
Some echoes reaching farther than others
Some echoes so strong they ring clear
Long after the face is gone
But what is my echo?
I slip and fail and echo defeat
I mess up and echo humanity
But these aren't MY echo
No. MY echo.
The echo of my life
My echo is Christ
And no matter the times
My fleshly echo tries to take over
The echo of my life
The echo that doesn't come from me
The echo of forgiveness
The echo of grace
The echo of love
Whether through silent prayer
Or a spoken word of encouragement
Let my life echo Christ

Upon my Knees

Yes, I know it's been forever and a half since I made a post....but I'm not dead, I promise. Just busy. But that doesn't mean I haven't been writing...it just hasn't made it from my notebook to my blog... :)

Upon my knees I find myself again

All my strength withered away

Bruised. Battered. Hopeless?

Here upon the ground I feel I shall decay

Emptiness inside

No answers in my head

No air in my lungs

Every tear inside me has been shed

My strength is all but dry

I cannot do this on m own

With one last breath I stretch my arms

"I am nothing. Fill me," I groan

Upon my knees I remain

Though now in broken humbleness

My lungs filled with the sweetest of air

For to Him I called in my distress

Now I clearly see that upon my own I could not carry on

He gave me more than I could bear

He came and did so I may live

And in His name I find victor on my knees in prayer

Give It All

Give It All

Let this by my cry:

Oh, Lord, to You I give it all

To You solely do I reach for

At Your feet I fall

At Your feet I lay it all

My wants, my desires

My entire being

Let me hold nothing back

And what I do,

Take it from me

Oh, God, let me not cling to my desires

Fill me with Your will

I give it all, Lord

Every part of me

To do Your will

To follow Your leading

To enter into the unknown

With lifted hands

Relying only on You

And You alone

Here I am, Lord

I give it all

Answers.

 Two bins. 

One marked 'questions'

the other 'answers'

I make my way to the first bin

Inside are stacks of blank paper and a pen

I begin to write

Soon the stack of paper has reached an end

Each page filled with questions

Questions from my heart

Questions about my life

Questions of 'why' and 'how'

Questions I desperately want answered

I place the filled paper back into the bin

Then I move to the bin marked 'answers'

I take a deep breath, knowing the answers to all my questions

are in that box.

I tug at the lid

It doesn't budge

I tug harder

I use every ounce of my strength

the lid remains unmoved.

I punch, kick and pound at the box

Desperately, I want those answers.

"Why can't I see the answers???"

I sob into the air.

"I can't continue in life with all this unknown!

I need answers!"

I continue my plea, not caring whether anyone can hear me.

"If I just knew, even a few answers. I wouldn't feel so lost.

So confused."

Silence answers my plea.

I gaze around me.

I know not why I hadn't seen them before.

As far as my eyes could see there were rows and rows

filled with bins.

Half of them marked 'questions'

the other half 'answers'

Each 'questions' bin is filled with papers, 

many so full the lid doesn't close.

I walk over to one

the questions inside are similar to mine

but by someone else.

The 'answers' bin beside it is locked as mine had been

I continue to walk down the endless rows of bins

Searching for some way to find answers.

Far back amongst the bins

something catches my eye

One bin.

Marked 'answers'

 There is no conjoining 'questions' bin.

Could this answers bin possibly be unlocked?

I pull at the lid.

It flies off

Inside lays a single piece of paper.

 I slowly reach in and pick it up

The words draw me to my knees.

"He is the Alpha and Omega,

The beginning and the end.

Before you were born,

He knew you.

When hard times came,

He allowed them.

He knew the outcome.

He gave.

And He took away.

He never told you the purpose.

He never told you his perfect plan.

For his plan is far beyond what your mind could ever comprehend.

His thoughts are high above your thoughts.

He has seen you fail.

He has seen you repent.

And fail again.

He has forgiven you when you asked.

He holds the answers.

He is the God of yesterday, today and forever.

And He wants you to trust Him."

I put the paper back in the bin and shut the lid.

I still have questions.

But I know who has the answers.

And I will trust His perfect plan for my life.

Isaiah 55:8-9

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord.

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts."

to ponder...

To ponder all my tears in life
has left me beat and worn
But through it all
I've learned to stand
upon the strength of God
For I myself, I cannot bare
the sorrow of this world
But in His grace alone I stand
And praise Him evermore

To Sit Upon a Moutain

To sit upon that mountain high

The valley far below

The breeze whispering softly to me

The music of the world

To spread my arms out wide

And feel the open air

To shut my eyes and listen

To the sound God's creation

Then open them wide

And take a deep breath

To witness that creation

So beautiful

So majestic

On that mountain

Is where I want to be

For on top of that mountain

It is as if

The whole world

Lies under me

The Path

The walls loomed above me

In vain I searched for an escape

For even a window of light

Nothing.

Darkness.

I knew not how I got here

When I had first started on the path it had looked harmless

I all too quickly learned the trust danger that lurked here

I felt bruised and battered

I pounded against the walls once more

"Someone, help me! Get me out of here!"

I felt something wet dripping down my hand

Blood and the dirt of the walls.

"Please, anyone."

I sank to the ground, my voice hoarse from crying out.

"Help me."

My salty tears mixed with the taste of blood around my mouth

If only the walls were gone

Then I could see the light

Oh, how I longed to see the light

Feel it's warmth upon my face

"Please, someone."

My voice was barely a whisper now

"Take these walls away."

The earth began to tremble

The walls - they were coming down!

I felt a renewed strength and jumped to me feet

I shut my eyes, waiting to feel the light against my eyelids

The walls roared as they crashed around me

Then silence

I slowly cracked my eyes open

Darkness.

My heart began racing in a new fear

Why was it still dark?

Why couldn't I see the path?

The wall were gone...

so why couldn't I see the light?

I stumbled forward

Soft dirt squished under my feet

I was on the path again

But the darkness remained

I strained my eyes in every direction

Desperately seeking even the smallest ray of light

"Where do I go?"

I cried out into the darkness

My question was answered with silence

Then I knew

At the end of the path, there was light

 The walls hadn't been blocked the light out

There was no light on the path in the first place

And if I could just make it to the end of the path

I would find not only light

But the guardian of the path

The Creator of the light

The One who would watch over me as I made my journey

My journey down this path

This path were I could not see ahead

But the Guardian could

The Guardian could see everything

As long as I remained on the path

the darkness would remain

And the journey would be long and painful

But at the end - a glorious light I would find

And each time I would stumble

I would know the Guardian was using that injury

To mold me into His image

But for now

I would continue on

With my eyes fixed ahead

Even though I could not see

On this path call life.

 

The Wooden Wishing Well

     I was skimming through one of my notebooks from last year and came across something I had started writing and never finished. And since it was midnight and my insomnia was keeping me up...I decided to finish it.

The Wooden Wishing Well

At the end of the path now overgrown with weeds

I stood at the edge of an old wooden wishing well

Ready to drop a coin down and make a wish for a new car I wanted

I looked down and, though dark and far off, somehow I saw the bottom

Only small puddles of water remained

Twisted vines crawled up the cracked sides

But in those puddles of water, I saw hundreds of shiny relfections

Wishes

Some of the wishes took the form of dimes, others of pennies 

Some of the wishes even took the form of coins from another country

I thought to myself 'What if I could read those wishes?'

Then I found myself falling

Down into the wooden wishing well

Once I hit the bottom no pain did I feel

Inside I felt a sense of awe as each wish sparkled up at me

I bent and picked up a penny and felt my eyes widen

For clearly, without explanation, I knew this penny's wish

The wish had been made by a girl, no older than seven

Wishing for a new pink dress with ruffles for her doll

I picked up another wish, this one in the form of a silver dollar

A wish for a new bike 

Amazed, I continued to pick through the wishes

Some made me laugh

Like the wish of the little boy who wished he could be a real superhero so the girl next door would like him

Some made me cry

Like the grandpa who wished his grandson would beat his battle for cancer

If even just long enough to make it to his next birthday

A wish for a pony

a wish for her mother to come back home

A wish for a new job

A wish for the pain to go away

But no matter the wish

Each one was different

Unique to that person who wished it

And with each wish

I found myself realizing all the more clearly

That each life

Though so different from the other

Was imporant

Meant something

The pile of a wishes around me

Had become much more than a pile of wishes

They had become lives

Then I once again found myself standing above the wishing well

Staring down

I walked back down the path

Not looking back

I felt burdened with that thought that every life

Every person I passed on the street

They weren't just a another face

They had wishes

Struggles

Needs

I suddenly wanted to be part of all their lives

To show them that they were important in their own way

I never went back to the

wishing well

But I never forgot what I learned

It is easy to get wrapped up in our own desires

To think little of the lives or others

To view them as just another face with a wish

But they are so much more

They are a life

And some of those lives

I have the chance to impact

To show them I care

And maybe even answer one of their wishes

That is what I learned

at the wooden wishing well