This post will be a little more personal then usual.
So, I was thinking...that when I die...what words will I leave behind?
Will I have said everything I want to say?
Some things are hard to say.
I try to say everything...but of course there's so much to say it could never all be said and also sometimes the opportunity to say things just doesn't arise.
Well January of this year I wrote out a letter basically saying all the things I want people to know. But then I got to thinking, why keep these thoughts on a piece of paper? I want people to know these things now.
So here's what I wrote:
If I were given the choice to let everyone know my deepest feelings...I would want everyone to know that:
...I love each and every one of my family members in a VERY VERY special way. There may be 8 siblings, but EACH of them are special to me.
...My parents are THE best in the world. Seriously. I couldn't ask for more amazing parents.
...My friends are very special to me. Especially my closest friends, who know who they are...they have NO idea how much their friendship means to me.
...I don't actually 'enjoy' being a bad cook, because someday I really want to cook wonderful food for my husband and family. :)
...I hope my life shines Christ and is able to help each person I come in contact with grow in their relationship with Christ.
...Regardless of what the world says, prayer is EXTREMELY powerful and never underestimate the prayer of a righteous person.
...There is such things as miracles.
...Joy is a choice and through Christ we can choose it.
...Nothing. NOTHING is impossible with God.
...I like to be alone sometimes...but more often I like someone to come be alone with me.
...God has blessed me WAY more then I deserve and I am SO incredibly thankful.
...If I die, I am ready. Ready to go Home.
...If I die, I wouldn't want anyone to regret something they did or didn't say or do involving me, but to just smile upon the happy memories.
But what I want everyone to know the most...The VERY VERY VERY most important thing to me is I want every.single.person.I.know that my greatest desire and wish...is that they will strive to keep Christ as the focus of their lives.
My greatest desire for everyone...for YOU.... is to try and make a change in your life for Christ. Even if you already know Him, to KEEP PRESSING ON TOWARDS THE KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS!!! To make every effort to find joy in Him and to serve Him in EVERYTHING.
Those are the words I want to leave behind. To tell everyone.
And I don't say them nearly often enough.
So maybe this will be a beginning to saying them more often. :)
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Oh how I miss Josh and long to be with him in heaven.
A quote from his last blog post:
A quote from his last blog post:
"To surrender a precious dream is a fearful thing, but to pursue anything but the full measure of God's love is a wasted life." -Joshua S. EddyWow. If only he he knew those words he wrote would be repeated and remembered and change lives...he would be humbled and thrilled. :')
Two things he's said to me in email conversations just a few weeks ago:
"We must learn Endurance (through suffering), Self control, patience, trust, leadership, love, hard work. A man is made to sweat and bleed for those in his care and self sacrifice does not come naturally. And sometimes, divine discipline is the only way we learn the lesson. Most of the time, actually. It's often very hard and painful and we are stubborn creatures by nature. First we fight God, but eventually, He breaks us, and we become dedicated warriors for His army. That's the good side of stubbornness. But it's hard. Really hard. And the farther we go, the more we persist in this goal. The harder it gets; the more our determination is put to the test. Navy SEALs don't finish training overnight, but when they're done, you see a force to be reckoned with. So, wait, sister, wait. Do your part and trust God."
A news report video about his passing: http://web.thedailycourier.com/video/vidpage.html?v=050812Eddy
"Always, always, always trust God. If He’s going to do it, you better be sure He’s going to do it. Just do everything you can to stay where He wants you. If you don’t know where to walk, stand still. Get it? Got it? Good."
You will never be forgotten, Josh. Thank you for your testimony.