Apparently it's been nearly two years since I made a blogpost.
The last post I made was when my Uncle died. It was the beginning of one of the hardest years for my family: More deaths, cancer, open-heart surgery, the list seemed never ending... Through it all, God showed His love. I still look back in amazement at how He brought us through such a hard time and made us stronger for it.
I've been looking back a lot - it's crazy how things change. How people change. How you change.
Isn't time a funny thing? This crazy concept that God placed in our lives, that we can't control, that always moves forward.
This morning I was reading Proverbs 4:18, "The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day."
How often I've wished I could go back in time, even just for a moment - to fix a mistake, to give one last hug to a very dear friend who passed, to tell 'old-Clareesa' to get her head screwed on right - but that's not the way God created us.
He didn't create us to look back. He created us to move forward.
And the path He laid out for us - it just gets better until we see Him face to face.
Every morning one of my favorite things to do is open the curtains and let that morning light in - it's always beautiful. What a wonderful example for Proverbs 4:18!
I found myself challenged this week of having a mindset of straining toward what is ahead. It's too easy to get stagnate where we are, or to look back, and forget that God has an wonderful plan for those who love Him. A wonderful plan - moving forward, not backward.
For me, it often starts with how I start my day. Am I starting my day in God's Word? Is my heart in the right place? Am I going through the motions? Or am I looking toward Him, continuing down the path of righteousness?
I wish I could say each morning I did great - but I don't. I'm still trying, learning, striving, failing, being forgiven, and moving forward.
Anyways, just my jumbled thoughts of day... :)
* * *
Stretching far beyond the ocean
Higher than every mountain top
I turn and shake my hand toward the heavens
"Why?" I cry
"Why is it so? I can't go on."
I hang my head
Silence answers my plea.
"Is there nothing more?"
I scream louder
"Help me. Help me. Or let me die."
My words hang heavy in my heart
I lift my tear-soaked eyes
Rays of sun beat down
The first gleam of dawn
Casting it's rays around me
I fall to my knees
"It's so hard." I sob
I wipe the tears that have clouded my view
How did I not see it before?
Beams of light streak across the ground
Calling me down the path
Calling me toward the light
Calling me toward His warmth
It won't be easy
This I know
But it will be worth it
For there is so much more
Love, overcoming my doubts
Glory, erasing my fear
Love, drawing me in
Glory, humbling my heart
Love, erasing my sins
Glory, to His name forever.