Blink

Blink.

You just lost a second of your life.

      

     A second may not seem like much. But have you ever stopped to think how much can happen in a second?

     In a second, a life can be over.

    I was looking through some photos from a few years ago. I was thinking about how it seemed like those photos had been taken yesterday but how much had changed since then. Then a thought struck me; I could never how those moments back.

     Life 2 years ago for me was hard, as life always is...but some of my greatest memories were from 2 years ago. Moments I took for granted. Even the hard days. I took them all for granted, and now they are gone.

     A few days ago I was driving past the retirement home of some adopted grandparents of ours, the passing thought of stopping by and visiting them crossed my mind. It wasn't tell I got home that I remembered my adopted grandpa had died and they didn't live there anymore. It had become such a habit to go there and visit them, when I passed their home it looked as if nothing had changed. But it had all changed.

     You are in this moment right now. A moment you will never get back. 

     Don't take this moment for granted.

     Even if you're going through struggles in life and you 'just want to get through it'. Don't. Stop trying to get past the moment, and live in the moment.

     Don't be in a hurry to reach a point in life. God placed you in this moment for a reason.

     Take this moment to fix your eyes on Christ, to follow His leading.

     Take this moment to show the ones around you that you love them.

     Take this moment to shine the light of Christ to someone who might not otherwise see that light.

     Live this moment so that in the next moment you can look back and think, 'wow, I lived that moment to the fullest.'

     Because you can't have this moment back and you don't know how much you may miss it later. 

 

Each second

A gift.

Each breath.

A blessing.

Each blink of an eye.

Will pass.

     Only memories will be left.

You're in this moment.

Live it.

    Blink

Let go |part 2|

     Almost a year ago I posted about letting go. Letting go of those things we cling to on this earth and clinging to God, with both hands.
     This past week, once again, God has been teaching me to 'Let go.' But there's more to it than that.
     We can let go, sure...but what happens afterwards? All to often it's easy to seek to try and figure out what to do after we 'let go'.
      Letting go doesn't just mean releasing our hold on something, it means releasing our hold and not worrying about the result. 
     I have spent the past two months searching for answers, trying to figure out what God wanted me to do...I had let go in my mind. Let go of so many things, but I was trying so hard to figure my life out...I let me focus slip from remembering that Christ is the one in control of my life. Yes, I knew He was in control, but I kept trying to 'help' Him out.
     Big mistake.
     God doesn't need our help in figuring our life out.
     God convicted me that I had been spending too much time in the 'trying to figure out' process rather than the 'serving Him in the moment I was at' and letting Him take control of the rest.

     Let go and let God.
     The past week has been one of the most amazing weeks of my life. Not because 'good things' have happened or I've done anything special. The hardships of my life are still there...but, by God's grace, I am learning to release my grasp from trying to figure it out myself. And once you do that, the joy that comes from seeking Christ is...amazing.
  
     To wake up in the morning, and to be able to smile and say, "today will be a good day because it's a day God has given me" is amazing. To be able to wake up without dreading what the day holds, because you know that with your focus on Christ, you're where He wants you to be.

    Just a clarifying note, I am not saying that I continually am joyful and have continually kept my focus where it should be. I am a sinner, just the same as everyone else. And I fail, continually. But I am also learning continually, and striving to continually be joyful and keep my focus where it should be. :)

     Colossians 3 has been extremely convicting to me lately. Verses 1-3 say, "If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seating at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God."
     What is your mind on? Have you truly let go of the things of this earth? Or are you 'trying to help God' figure things out? He doesn't need help, I promise. ;)

How Great Thou Art

     Yesterday would have been Josh's 20th birthday.
     A year ago I never would have imagined that instead of sending him a happy birthday email, I'd be visiting his grave.
     God opened the doors for me to be able to make the 5 hour trip to Grants Pass and visit Josh's grave. What a trip. So many emotions. But I am extremely thankful God allowed me to go.
     Visiting Josh's grave wasn't what I expected it'd be. I'm not positive what I expected, but I thought that when I went there would be all this extreme pain.
      And while it did hurt, there was this overwhelming sense of peace. That THIS was how it was supposed to be. This was all in God's perfect plan, and I didn't want it any other way.
     I spent most my visit at the grave, walking around the cemetery singing praise songs and praying. One song I just couldn't get off my mind was, 'How Great Thou Art'. I sang it over and over. The lyrics are so powerful.
     One of the verses goes,

O Lord my God! When I in awesome wonder

Consider all the works they hand hath made

I see the stars, I hear the mighty thunder,

Thy power throughout the universe displayed;

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,

How great Thou art, How great thou art!

     I miss Josh. A lot. But God's plan is so perfect. He created the whole universe. I just look outside and see His mighty hand. God is so good. And His plan so perfect. I rest completely in His holy will for everything that happens.
     While in Grants Pass I was talking with a friend and we were talking about how in everything, God is so faithful. And how in the hard times, and in the unknown, it gives us all the more reason to trust and rely in God.
     It's easy to get wrapped up in our own plans for life. But when something happens to someone dear to you, everything changes...and then it becomes easy to worry about loving for fear of losing someone. But God is so faithful.
     Yesterday is a day I won't soon forget.
     Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee, How great Thou art, how great Thou art!

Listen.

Darkness surrounded me.

Each direction I turned was a vast unknown.

"Hello?" My own voice sounded alien to me.

I stumbled forward, crying out for help.

I can get through this.

I can find the way out.

I WILL find the way out.

Another step.

Something sharp cut into my side.

Wetness oozed from where I'd bumped into whatever blocked my path.

I'm alone. Completely alone.

I don't know where to go!

There's no way out.

Hopelessness began to overtake me.

Surely there was no direction in this emptiness.

I didn't stop moving forward, fearing if I stopped I would be trapped forever.

A distant voice.

"Hello?" I called out, but the sound of my own footsteps drowned out any answer.

I continued forward, inflicting more injuries upon myself as more unknown obstacles blocked my path.

"Stop." The voice was quiet, barely audible.

I paused for a moment.

The silence was terrifying.

I needed to hear something, if only the sound of my own footsteps.

I started forward again.

But paused just long enough to hear the voice once again.

"Stop."

I stopped.

The voice called my name.

Softly, barely loud enough to hear, but definitely my name.

I wanted to move forward, but stood still. 

The voice was comforting.

"Listen," it said.

Listen? Listen to what?

"Listen to me." 

The voice had read my thoughts.

The voice was growing louder. 

Still soft, but gradually easier to hear.

I strained my ears and listened.

The voice called my name again.

This time so crystal clear it was almost as if the speaker stood right beside me.

But I felt no fear.

I knew the speaker could help me.

"Take my hand."

I blindly reached out and felt a firm grip.

Then, slowly, I was led forward.

Guided through the darkness.

The going was painfully slow, but each time I tried to go at my own pace, I would run into something in the darkness.

I let the hand lead me.

I did not speak for fear of not being able to hear the voice when it spoke in that soft, reassuring tone.

After what seemed like an eternity, the darkness began to fade.

I stood in an open field.

The most beautiful field I had ever seen.

I still held the hand of the one who had led me out.

I gazed at his face.

It was Him.

I knew Him, thought I had never seen Him.

"I was in there for alone for so long, why did you not come to help me sooner?"

He smiled.

Then I knew.

He had been there with the whole time.

While I stumbled and fell, He was by my side.

By my side, calling my name.

But I had let my own voice drown out His.

I had let my own impatience to get out of there cause me to not see what had been right with me the whole time.

If only I had listened sooner.

If only I had stopped relying on myself and my own direction.

If only I had stopped, and listened.

But I had listened, it just took time.

And I was determined to listen from this point forward.

He called my name.

This time I heard.

     It's so easy for us as Christians to ignore the voice of God and instead listen to ourselves. 

Sometimes we just need to stop...to stop and listen to God. To seek His guidance and follow HIS footsteps. 

     So often we call upon God for help, but don't listen for an answer. 

Psalm 91,

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
² I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.”

³ Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
    nor the arrow that flies by day,
⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
    nor the plague that destroys at midday.
⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
    ten thousand at your right hand,
    but it will not come near you.
⁸ You will only observe with your eyes
    and see the punishment of the wicked.

⁹ If you make the Most High your dwelling—
    even the Lord, who is my refuge—
¹⁰ then no harm will befall you,
    no disaster will come near your tent.
¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
    so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
¹³ You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
    you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

¹⁴ “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him;
    I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
¹⁵ He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
    I will be with him in trouble,
    I will deliver him and honor him.
¹⁶ With long life will I satisfy him
    and show him my salvation.”

6 months...

Today marks exactly 6 months from the day that changed my life forever.
6 months from when my sister, with tears in her eyes, came in and said, "Clareesa, you need get on facebook." It was there I learned a very dear friend, Joshua Steven Eddy, slipped into the Rogue River and was missing. At first it seemed impossible to believe he could really be gone...I kept telling myself, praying, they would find him and he would be fine. But when I saw the post that the search had been called off, I knew he was gone. Sometimes reality takes awhile to sink in, for me...it didn't take any time at all. I remember screaming-because it was all I could do-then crying for nearly 3 days straight.
Those were the most difficult and painful days of my life-and I can only being to imagine the pain felt by the Eddy family and those closer to Josh.

Now, half a year later, there are still days when the pain comes just as it did 6 months ago and I find myself asking "Why, God???" but the answer always comes right away: 'It has been in God's holy will and plan from the beginning of time.'
He knew Josh would go out there to take a photo, he knew Josh would slip, he knew that day would be Josh's last day on earth.
Both Josh's life and death have been an amazing testimony to me, and so many others, of what a life solely seeking Christ looks like. Everyone who knew Josh can testify that he impacted their lives in a huge way.
I often find myself smiling...then I realize I'm thinking of a memory of Josh.
Today, half a year after he went to be with Jesus, I'm not asking 'why'...I'm thanking God for placing Joshua Eddy into my life...for the perfect amount of time. :)

Part of an email Josh once sent:
"Sometimes it's so hard to see how God uses the hard parts of life to shape us into the Christ-bearers that we are intended to be. If you can trust that God really know what He is doing, He will use you for things that would've been impossible had you taken matters into your own hands. No matter how crazy your life may seem, and no matter how bleak the future may seem, follow His voice and guidance. He really does know what He is doing and He does have a plan."

You couldn't have said it better, Josh. Thanks for leaving an awesome testimony...for so many. Miss you. :')

A friend who won't change.

     Friendships.
     They come in all sorts of forms... We make new friends, lose friends, become distant from other friends. It's life.
     I've had a lot of friends go separate directions in life, and I've grown apart from them. I've also made new friends, some whom I have grown quite close to. But friendships are always changing.
     People grow up. People change. People get into relationships. People...are people.
     Sometimes it's really hard to lose a friend or to become slowly distant... sometimes it's easy to feel like there's no one you can really depend on. Someone who WON'T leave, who will NEVER fail you, who will ALWAYS be there for you...
     Is it impossible to find someone like that?
     No one on this earth can guarantee to be that person for you.
     But there is someone who can.
     Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.
     He is the same. Yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8).
     He is ALWAYS there.
     He is ALWAYS faithful.
     He is ALWAYS watching over me.
     He will never leave me.
     Even when I 'spit in His face' even when I continually stray away from the path of His will...He ALWAYS forgives.
     Wow. I mean WOW. Even though I knew what I was going to write about when I first started this post, even as I right...I'm just...amazed. Really and truly amazed and awed and humbled and ...yea. :D
      Friends come, friends go... but God will never leave me nor forsake me.
      The day I turned from my sins and accepted Christ into my life, was the best day of my life. Forever changed. Forever in love with an unchanging God! :D :D :D
     "I the Lord do not change..." (Malachi 3:6)
   
     It's all too easy to forget how faithful God is... it's easy to feel we've hit the end of our rope and we're alone in our own little world. Like we've hit rock bottom and there's not way out. But God is also faithful in reminding us, continually, of His faithfulness...how awesome is that?!?!

     And with that, I shall sleep tonight with a grin on my face because I KNOW I have the God of yesterday, today and forever in my heart. WH00T! :D

 

What does it mean to you?

(Before I begin this post, I would just like to state that I have failed many many times in this area, and am continually, by God's grace, striving to do better. So don't think I'm saying that I never do this as well.) :)

     Quiet time with God. What does it mean to you?
If your response is, "Oh, it's awesome. I read my Bible and pray half an hour every day!"...that doesn't answer my question. What does it mean.to.you?
     Sure, maybe you take time aside each day to read the bible and pray. And that's good, really good! But what are you doing during that half hour?
     Are you watching the clock to see when half an hour is up? Are you seeing how many chapters you can 'squeeze' into that half hour just to say you read that much? Are you focusing on looking for a 'good' verse that you can post about it on facebook to make sure your friends know you're a 'good christian'? Are you checking your texts, fb or email every other verse? Do you the entire chapter and have you mind somewhere else the whole time? Do your prayers to God consist of asking God to give you things? The list goes on...
     If I were to ask you what you read about, what God showed you, would you be able to give me an answer?
     It is so easy to let 'quiet time' become 'distraction time'.
     What would happen if during 'quiet time with God' you sought to forget distractions, forget about posting that verse on facebook(side note: that's what the pharisees did, not with fb, but with praying in public places, etc)?
     Okay, here's a really crazy question: What if you made quiet time about God?
::mind bomb::
       I'll repeat it...in case you didn't catch it the first time: What.if.you.made.quiet.time.about.GOD?
     What if you treated EACH WORD rfom the Bible as God speaking to you? What if instead of praying for what you want, you prayed for God's will and praised Him for all He has done and for Him to teach you His ways?
     Crazy thought isn't it? It shouldn't be, but so often we forget why we read the Bible, why we pray.
It's not an 'okay, my half hour is up, I'm done!' thing - it's learning about God, and His Son, Jesus Christ. Learning about what He did for us, learning about how to follow His will.

Psalm 119:10-17,

"I seek you with all my heart;
    do not let me stray from your commands.
¹¹ I have hidden your word in my heart
    that I might not sin against you.
¹² Praise be to you, O Lord;
    teach me your decrees.
¹³ With my lips I recount
    all the laws that come from your mouth.
¹⁴ I rejoice in following your statutes
    as one rejoices in great riches.
¹⁵ I meditate on your precepts
    and consider your ways.
¹⁶ I delight in your decrees;
    I will not neglect your word."

     Not only should we make quiet time soley about God - but we should take what we learn and apply to our lives each day. We should be meditating on God's word, living it through our lives.
   
     So I ask you again: Quiet time with God: What does it mean to you?