Tonight I was having one of those nights. I was trying to clean the kitchen, the little sibs had a friendover, the house was a wreck, people kept making new messes, and I had just had dairy (which means pretty much the littlest things will set me off), I was trying to upload a video and twice, 2 hours into it a little siblings shut my computer and I had to restart....I was not in a good mood.
Now I wasn't openly super upset or mad...mostly because my sibs had a friend over...
All day long the lil girls had been pestering me to do a group photo of them while Jasmine (their friend. She used to be our neighbor and now lives across the US so they never see her.) was over... I was busy and stressed and really not in the mood to take photos.
But finally I got my camera out to take a couple photos of them...on the way out the lil girls were talking about how I was 'upset' about them closing my computer (they were all laughing and joking) and I added how I was "furious" (joking of course). But even though I was smiling, and kinda joking, I wasn't joyful. Then Jasmine said something that really hit..."I like it when I come over and you're singing." (Last time she came over I was in the kitchen singing at the top of my lungs and she thought it was hilarious.
I sing when I'm in a really good mood. I sing when I'm joyful.
But what was I doing now? Was I showing God's love to this little girl who rarely ever is around people who love the Lord? (Her family is Muslim. She's 10 and professes to know Christ.)
I had no reason to be a grouch...even if I wasn't REALLY a grouch. I wasn't joyful. I wasn't shining the light God wanted me to shine.
I was caring more about my own personal cares and problems then shining a light for Christ. Not only to this girl, but also to my younger siblings.
1 Corinthians 10:31, "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God."
I want to be filled with the joy of the Lord in all I do. And I want that light to shine.